Author of: The Lilly Pad
For those of you that have read my blog you know about The Paramedic. For those of you that don’t; I met him in October, I haven’t seen him a lot because we’re off at different times, he’s been cancelling on me a few times, and I haven’t know what’s been going on between us, which has really bothered me.Anyway, yesterday I finally talked to him about it. I went and saw him, as I didn’t want to do it over the phone (and I’m very glad I didn’t.).
I asked him if he wanted a relationship or if this thing between us was just a bit of “fun”.He doesn’t want a serious relationship. But he likes me and he doesn’t want to stop seeing me. He had some good reasons, I won’t share them all with you as some of them were very private for him and he almost didn’t want to tell me. I tried to make him see the other side of thing, but I could tell from the reasons he gave that he was scared of getting into a relationship, he was playing the “what if” game… But at the same time I can completely understand why he was scared. I would be in his circumstances.
One of his reasons for not wanting a serious relationship with me though is because I’m going to leave, and he doesn’t want a long-distance relationship. I can’t really argue with him too much on that… I told him that yes, I’m going back to Norway in July, but I can come back. It’s not the end of the world. There’s always going to be “hurdles” in a relationship, you just have to try and overcome them. But he doesn’t want me to come back just for him. What if we break up not long after I get back? Or what if I don’t really want to come back to Australia and I start “resenting” him because I’m somewhere I don’t want to be? What if, what if…
We had a long talk. And although I can understand his concerns and fears I don’t want that to stop us from having a relationship. If you’re always going to be scared of what might happen in the future, and just think about what might go wrong, you’re never going to be happy in a relationship. You just have to get in there and try your best.
So, what’s the result of our talk?
We’re in a casual relationship for now. But we’re also exclusive, so I don’t have to worry about that. I’ll just have to see if I can do the casual relationship, I might not be able to, but I don’t know until I’ve tried. A casual relationship can never go on forever though, it either becomes a serious one or it has to end completely.Yes, I would rather have a serious relationship, and he knows that and he’ll keep that in mind and think about what he wants. At least I know where I stand with him for now…
Yes, I’ll probably end up with my heart broken. But I’d rather know that I gave it a go than just give up too easy.
By: Lilly Wood
Please check out my blog: The Lilly Pad